Page 21- "Attached principles teach us that most people are only as needy as their unmet needs"
Page 188-Moving toward security is not about tackling problems in your relationship; it's also about having fun together
Page 88-Rational mind vs attachment system
Page 142-Perks of secure attachment
Page 89-Secure attachment-makes life easier
Page 21(Western society)-We live in a culture that scorns basic needs for intimacy
Page 159-Tell tale signs of an anxious/avoidant relationship trap
Page Avoidant attached people don't date each other, 1) secure + anxious/avoidant 2) secure + secure 3) avoidant + anxious are usual parings
Page 98-Dating advice is only for avoidants- Don't let people make you feel guilty for being needy or dependent
Page 107-When anxious attached people give securely attached people/ a chance-they feel bored-why/ how to resolve
Page 97-Anyone can have a happy ending like that- the trick is not to get hooked on the highs & lows or mistake on an activated system for passion & love
Page 17-Secure base means no drama
Page 26-Biology of attachment physiological unit partner regulates -blood pressure -our heartbeat -our breathing - levels of hormones in our blood
Page 27-This study shows when two people form an intimate relationship they regulate each other's emotional well being
Page Avoidance have attachment needs but actively suppress them
Page Dependency paradox knowledge that there is someone beside us whom we can count on-ability to step into the world on our own
Each reaffirm beliefs about themselves-why?
Page 191-Anxious women are more likely to date avoidant men
Page 82-Emily's frustration after meeting a good guy
Page 78-A sensitive attachment system-Obsession-Emily & David maschochist BPD traits
Anxious attachment jump to conclusions- a sensitive attachment system- anxious type
Page 33-Blood pressure & unhappy marriage "chronic sense of tension"
Page 62-Personality traits attachment not mutually exclusive
Page 40-Fully validated attachment questionnaire
Page 45-2 dimensions determine attachment-1)comfort with intimacy 2)anxiety bout love/attentiveness
Page 127-How to stop pushing loved ones away-deactivation strategy-prepare meal together sail hike
Page 92-Equating activated attachment with passion
Page 220-Lauren & Ethan-sexuality "beards"gay
Page 93-True love= Peace of mind
Page 241-Effective vs ineffective communication
Page 235-The principles of effective communication
Page 237-New miranda's law of dating- effective communication right- from the start
Page 272-A relationship from an attachment perspective should give you peace & self confidence-if not red flag
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